Anyway for those of you who actually read this thing i guess i should update you on what's been going on since ... well jan.30 which was my last update . *shakes head* i know i'm such a bad blogger but anyway nothing much has been going on .. well maybe idk i shall go on and explain . :
-Spent winter break at winter camp [and yes i said winter camp]
-saw someone who i hadn't seen in two years
-made great new friends
-Visited SUNY albany [which i loved btw]
-Got Awesome grades on my last report card
-Got heartbroken [but it's okay i'm moving on]
-patched things up with my ex and i guess we're sort of friends again
-spent more time focusing on school then the computer
-Discovered great new artist
That's pretty much it, see nothing big . I guess i should vent on the Heartbreak Factor because it's been taking over my life for the past week and since i haven't really let it out fully i should vent about it on here . So here it goes :
There's this kid .. i'm gonna call him jason ...for the mere fact that he might be reading this so i won't blow up his spot anyway i met jason two years at my winter camp .. when i was dating my [now ex] boyfriend. He was really cool and we chilled and had a lot of laughs but back then i never really looked at him that way he was cute but i was in a relationship so cheating was out of the question , any who he came back this year for winter camp AGAIN his hair was cut , his clothes were amazing [not that they weren't before] and he was just 1000 times better than before. Instantly we were both attracted to each other and paid each other a whole lot of attention that whole week we were there it was me & him everyday we didn't even have to talk to each we could be looking at each other from across the room and everything would be good $$$ , but when we got home EVERYTHING changed oh my god i can't even begin to explain. I would be the one to text him to call him express my feelings to him and he would put in no effort we weren't in a relationship but it felt like it could have been going somewhere . He started becoming a complete douche bag and i felt like i was carrying all the weight on my shoulders .. if you didn't like me anymore you could have just said that instead of ignore me ... i forgot though just because someone is older than you doesn't mean they act like it which is what he showed. I cut him off for like two weeks and everything was good i wasn't stressing about him not texting or calling me or anything i was happy , and then one flipping weekend i decided to tweet something which was sort of intended for him to see just as like a wake up call ... needless to say he saw it and hit me up and we had this little conversation until i spazzed on him and then he called me and we talked on the phone about it and stuff . I guess he felt that if we were in a relationship it wouldn't work because of the distance .. i guess he could be right but then again he didn't even try so how can you really know RIGHT ? .. anyway after that it was an off and on thing and we would talk when he felt like hitting me up or when i tweeted about something and it's funny he stated i was "talking to other guys" but uhm i wouldn't have to do that if we were together and since we aren't i have every right to do what i please. Yesterday was the last straw though and i will never be stupid as i was with him or anyone else again .. i became a naive girl who waited around for a boy to call and text which is not my usual character , i let my guard down completely and got hurt [i'm a sensitive person if you don't know] . Anyway yesterday he saw a tweet that i retweeted from some guy it was stupid but he took it seriously and retweeted saying "aww you two are so cute" .. like wtf first off the tweet had nothing to do with being cute or flirty so idk where that came from , but that just pissed me off because i was completely serious when i stated my feelings for him and he just fucked me over like my feelings were a joke. I talked to a friend last night and he was going through the same thing that i was .. and he basically told me that getting over someone is easy all you have to do is just think about how there is one million people all over the world don't waste your time on someone who treats you like dirt , think about what it would be like if it was a relationship thing , those words stuck to me like glue which is what basically got me through this entire day.
Today i was pretty productive it was nice outside [71 degrees to be exact] i didn't go outside but i was busy all day in the house , my mom has been pretty busy and i didn't want to ask for money to go out because she's paying for a lot of stuff right now so i decided to keep busy by :
-cleaning my room
-music
-blogging [on tumblr lol]
-taking a hot bath
-face mask
-reading a book
-painting my nails
-watching a movie
-eating
-review my notes
LOL . i have completed 8/10 things on that list and i have reffrained from thinking about lol . it was hard i must say but i didn't look at his tweets today or check my phone every five seconds so that's progress to me .. i feel so pathetic even writing that .. because that is not how i usually am it's so stupid how a guy can make you change but no more sad me .. i did all my crying last night and now i'm done and never again will i cry over a stupid boy for a long,long, time .
This Post was pretty long but i guess it was good to get everything off my chest and now i'm ready to blog about some pretty cool stuff lol .
I'll leave you with pictures that i have taken .
p.s [i lost my freaking camera on the bus to SUNY ALBANY so all the pictures you see are from photobooth ]
[this was from the ridiculous rain storm we had on the thirteenth of march i tried to take a picture to show you how bad it was ]
[My hair catostrophe that happened let's just say i was having a really bad hair day and my hair ended up coming out like crap]
[i didn't tell you guys that i was going on a diet did i ? Well i am and i am cutting out all soda's and fried foods burgers,french fries and all that needs to go .. at least till i get rid of that little roll that is on my body it's hard but it's been working for me , maybe i'll even consider going back to being vegietarian]
[Last but not least , My Nails from today . i simply just love this nail color it's called "Chris's green belt" and no doubt when this bottle runs out i'm going to pick me up a new one]
Well that's all for now .. i hope you guys got a little update of what i've been up to .. till' next time ..
Xoxo - Jay
